Is there really any better feeling than holding your head high because you love yourself and who you are? Confidence is a funny thing because more often than not it’s a fleeting feeling. One moment you are strutting down your hallway in your slippers feeling like a boss and the next you are hiding away from others trying to dim your light.

I have been in a wavering season lately where I will feel confident in my decisions, actions or in who I am and then like a light switch something will turn that feeling off. I have had to really hone in on that “off” switch and figure out how and why I slip back. Today I thought I would share 3 things I am presently practicing to help build and maintain my confidence.

1. Identify who you are – If someone was to walk up to you and ask “who are you?” what would you say? Would you brag about all the great things you have done and why your friends love you or would you downplay those things that make you special? Would you give a simple answer trying to convince them that you are a simple person? I promise you, you are not a simple person. You are a complex and beautifully created person who yes, may have flaws but is not defined by imperfections. I encourage you to sit and take time to write out who you are, what do you love about yourself, what about you makes yourself proud? The better that you are able to clearly identify and define yourself the harder it’s going to be for others or yourself tell you otherwise.

2. Find your mantra – I am all about the mantras. I love having a short phrase that I can recite over and over again to quiet any doubting thought in my mind. A few years back when I was marathon training my mantra was “strong thoughts only” and every training session, long run and ultimately on race day I told myself that over and over. My mantra recently has been “be as kind to myself as I am hard on myself”. I am my very own worst critic and I cringe daily at myself, but I have to remember that I have to be just as kind to myself as I am hard on myself. I can’t expect others to be kind and loving towards me if I am not kind and loving to myself. Because even if they were kind and loving I would not be able to accept it. Find your mantra. Write it on your mirror, make it your screen saver, sticky note it all over your house. Be your biggest cheerleader and remind yourself who you are.

3. Love others – Guys, stinking love others. I have been so convicted recently because I don’t ever want to be the cause for someone else to feel rejected or unloved. Love others even though they have different opinions, love others when they have different skin color, love others when they don’t love you back, love others the way Jesus loves us. A lot of times how we treat others is a direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves. I have found that when I am showing love and kindness to others it’s a lot harder for me to have a negative view of myself. Be a light in this world even when it’s easier to live and dwell in the darkness.

I hope you have been encouraged by this and are challenged to walk through the steps above. You are a 10/10 and are worth it.

What things do you do to build your confidence?

XO, Ashton

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